Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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