In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
