Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
