you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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