That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize