mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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