Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize