so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
