you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
