That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
