i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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