I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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