I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
