are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
