College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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