I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
