my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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