I wannas sexs uuuuu
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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