I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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