dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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