I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
