At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's just like the Real World with babies
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
