so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Semen is not good for contacts.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
