this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
