I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
