I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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