Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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