Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
