I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
