her vagine was all disorganized.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
