We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
