I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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