Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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