i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
