You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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