i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize