Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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