I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
