I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
