i think i have herpe
just one?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
