so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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