so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
