dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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