I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
