i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
