Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
