my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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