4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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