Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
