I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
