Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
