I think I am morally bankrupt
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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