he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
