i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
