Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
