Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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