one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
