oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
