glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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