I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
