No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
