Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
