If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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